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Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week." That's very fair, your honour," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all..." Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids."An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder:1. The DNA all matches.2. There are no dental records.A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to. Once she did, we then had a cup of coffee while we waited for them to wake up. Pat woke up first having eaten less than Jack. She struggled a bit until she found she was helpless then demanded, "Let me loose Donna, you are in big trouble now!" I smiled and said, "If you look around you will discover that you are now the one in peril bitch." She suddenly realized that Jack was also helpless and changed her tune. She pleaded, "Don't hurt me dear, you were in love with me for years." I told her, "Don loved you, but you made Donna hate you." She watched silently as I shaved Jack"s body, but struggled against her bonds as I cut her hair off of her head and shaved it smooth also. Her begging fell on deaf ears. When I took the hot soldering iron and wrote "Bitch" on her ass she screamed like a maniac. I calmly told her I also like to mark my property. She was weeping uncontrollably as Jack started to wake up. When he started struggling against the ropes that help him I.
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